The Fair Play Method and The House Shuffle: A Match Made in Heaven
What do you get when you combine a fair division of labor with optimized household systems?
A peaceful home that practically runs itself.
In our last post, we talked about why your division of labor is your most important household system and why divisions of labor built on socialized assumptions tend to be unfair.
Today, we’re going to introduce the Fair Play Method and how we use it at The House Shuffle.
What is the Fair Play Method?
The best systems are stupidly simple. The Fair Play Method is one of those.
100 cards represent categories of household labor. Using the cards and a few key concepts, partners divide the cards amongst themselves and agree to minimum standards for each one.
At the end of the process, partners will have created a division of labor that’s satisfactory to both parties and will have clarity about who’s doing what and how things should be done. There’s far less opportunity for conflict when everyone’s working from the same household script.
Why The House Shuffle Likes The Fair Play Method
No household functions at its best if the division of labor is messed up. The Fair Play Method gives us tools to help you create a division of labor that reflects the five characteristics of an equitable split.
It’s Explicit
Woo boy! You can’t avoid getting explicit when using the Fair Play Method. You’ll completely think through what’s required to successfully complete every chore. Talking about household responsibilities can be tedious, but if you aren’t talking, you’re assuming and as we discussed in the last post, assumptions are the root of the problem. The House Shuffle’s Fair Play facilitation training enables us to help you navigate these discussions effectively.
It’s Comprehensive
Households are complicated. When one or both parties isn’t fully aware of everything that goes into effectively managing their home, an equitable division of labor is unlikely to naturally occur. The 100 cards in the Fair Play deck represent the full range of work that goes into creating a happy, comfortable home. Labor that was invisible can be recognized and valued when it’s laid out in front of you. The cards don’t leave out emotional labor or tasks that are long on planning and short on execution.
It’s Organized
Once everything is laid out, creating the management systems you need to keep things running without storing all the info in your head becomes a lot simpler. Tata, mental load!
It’s Equitable
It’s rare for two people to be in complete agreement as to what’s “fair.” Everyone tends to overvalue their own contributions and undervalue those of others. It’s human nature. Using physical representations of responsibilities helps make it clear when a division is strongly skewed. What’s equitable will be different for everyone. The 100 cards make sure no tasks are overlooked, undervalued or presumptively assigned, allowing each couple to arrive at the equitable division that works for them.
Agreed By All Parties
All this discussion is no good if someone is nodding along, but not really buying in. The Fair Play Method requires agreement at several steps along the way. This allows partners to pinpoint exactly what’s contentious between them and resolve disagreements before moving on to the next step. At the end of the process, each party will have bought in, without reservations. A division that’s fully agreed is one that sticks.
How the Fair Play Method and House Shuffle Systems Optimization Work Together
The Fair Play Method helps us to create that most important household system - an equitable division of labor, based not on assumptions, but explicit agreements. That agreement is vital to harmoniously managing your home, but it’s far from the only opportunity for optimization in your household systems. That’s where The House Shuffle comes in.
100 cards, 100 Optimization Prompts
Eve Rodsky, the author of Fair Play, first created her “Shit I Do” list when it became clear that much of the work she did at home was invisible to her husband. She passed the list around to friends who passed it to their friends, each adding more and more tasks as they occurred to them. Over time, the “Shit I Do” list grew and grew. This crowdsourced and researched list was eventually broken down and categorized, becoming the 100 cards that make up the Fair Play deck.
The 100 cards cover the full range of household labor, everything from Magical Beings - the work of maintaining the ruse of the tooth fairy - to Home Renovations. While The House Shuffle does not presume that tooth fairy shenanigans require optimization, there are dozens of cards in the deck that may benefit from a good shuffle while working through your division of labor.
Whether you are blissfully unaware of what needs to happen to successfully execute a card you’ve taken ownership of because the work was previously invisible to you (ahem…silver dollars don’t actually magically appear under pillows…) or you know there has to be a better way to manage a complicated card, The House Shuffle’s optimization expertise is at your disposal during your project.
The 100 cards serve as 100 prompts to get the support you need to improve your household systems. Great systems make maintaining your home easier, simpler, faster. Optimized systems combined with a fresh, equitable division of labor? Magic.
We Made Tools To Keep Shit Running
KERTHUNK!
What was that?!
That was you, hurling your mental load into a box. Literally.
That’s it! I’m naming my next dog Mental Load.
Working through your cards means thinking through all the things that need to happen to meet your minimum standards. Fully defining and agreeing to those standards is a major part of the Fair Play Method. When you are done with the process, you’re going to need a system for managing all those tasks you’ve agreed to. Your excellent Fair Play work is all for nought if you don’t remember to do the things!
The House Shuffle has developed tools that will make building the rhythms, routines, and management systems you need to run your home easy as pie. The last thing we want is a mile long to-do list constantly running through your head! We’ll put those spinny thoughts in a box.
Practice Makes Perfect, Even When Arguing About Housework
It’s inevitable. At some point, you and your partner will disagree about something to do with your home. Or a wild card, like a new job or ailing elder, will pop up, necessitating a rebalance of your division of labor.
These conversations often devolve into arguments, but The Fair Play Method provides a framework for those tough discussions. The experience you gained the first time through can help you successfully negotiate updating your division to suit your new circumstances.
The Fair Play tools and agendas we’ve developed at The House Shuffle will help you minimize future conflict. We even give you an argument system so you can talk through practical matters without wanting to bite each others heads off!
Want to Work With The House Shuffle to Get That Elusive Equitable Division of Labor, Optimize Your Household Systems AND Avoid Future Conflict?
We hope so! We are so excited to combine the Fair Play Method with our home optimization expertise to help you create a practical, comfortable, EQUITABLE home that works for you.
The House Shuffle’s System Shift Process is almost ready!
The process will help you rebalance your division of labor and improve your household systems.
Learn more about the process and join the waitlist here or get in touch & chat over email.
PS: There are affiliate links in this post!